A Bit Of Advice For Joe Manchin & Kyrsten Sinema

Original air date - October 9, 2021 on TikTok and Instagram Reels.

Hello, America! It’s me, Theb A Stard, AKA the Embodiment of and only hope for America! A certain nameless senator, who for this video, we will call Joe Manchin, has been…irking me lately. Which brings us to my very important segment, “A Bit Of Advice”.

Today, I have a bit of advice for West Virginia Senator Joe Manchin, seen here discussing butt-chugging with friend of Tobin and Squi, Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh.

Joe, listen, you’re a good friend. Together, we’ve made a killing off oil and gas and had loads of fun messing with the American political system. 

You, a secret republican pretending to be a democrat in order to block any and all progressive agenda and me, lobbying to help you and any other congressperson who’s trying to make a quick buck. 

It was a good little scheme we were running, but I fear the time has come for our secret mayhem to end. 

I know I told you to block absolutely everything the democrats put forth in order to stall until the next GOP lead stranglehold on Congress, but that was years ago and the political environment has changed. 

Some Republicans like Congressman and domestic terrorist sympathizer, Madison Cawthorn, are embracing their inner nazi, while others, like Mitt Romney who still support democracy, just want to do their jobs and enjoy some chocolate milk. 

That said, your continued efforts to block things like the bipartisan infrastructure bill, the budget plan, and constantly being a general thorn in the side of progress seems to have done some damage and will continue to do more damage to this great nation unless you reel it back in. 

So my advice to you, Senator, and a man I once saw kill a budget bill simply for looking at him wrong, Joe Manchin, is to simply retire. 

Now trust me, I know being the de facto most powerful person in America is, well, loads of fun. But watching Americans suffer just because you won’t lean into progress, well it isn’t as fun as it used to be. 

So, go back home to Appalachia, Joe, and release American progress from your iron grasp. 

Also, one last very important bit of advice for Senator and Joe Manchin’s Sith Apprentice, Krystin Sinema, seen here wearing the color of the party she not-so-secretly wishes she was a part of.

I know you’re new to Washington. Hell, in a short time, you’ve done more harm than good and have become a true disappointment to my colleagues in the DNC. The old me would have congratulated you. Hell, I would have bought you a ten-foot tall cake. But the new me realizes we need at least a few progressive policies to keep alive and, more importantly, spending money. 

So, to conclude, my bit of advice is for both Kyrsten Sinema and Joe Manchin is this simply retire and let progress happen. Without progress, I may become a gross poor and I’ll be pretty cranky if that happens. And you don’t wanna see me when I’m cranky….I get real fussy then need a nap and a burp.

This has been “A Bit Of Advice”.

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